


What is it to cope?

by Inventive_Alias



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Implied/Referenced Incest, Listen. I know it’s short but read it anyway
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-06
Updated: 2020-03-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:08:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22853737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inventive_Alias/pseuds/Inventive_Alias
Summary: Korekiyo Shinguji processes the aftermath of his abuse in the middle of a killing game very poorly.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 30





	What is it to cope?

**Author's Note:**

> This is mostly a vent fic. 
> 
> Kiyo was abused by his older sister and if you disagree, you will not like this fic.

Korekiyo Shinguji stands in front of his mirror, staring into a face that was his own and yet... hers. He hooks a finger under his mask and pulls it down. 

Red. He feels an apology on his painted lips before he can meet his reflection's eyes again. 

_ Did I really love her? _

He can't get the words out. His chest feels tight. A ragged breath is drawn in through his mouth then exhaled. He pulls his mask back up. 

"No." He can't question that, not out loud. Not when she might—

He shouldn't be afraid of her... right?

She loved him, kept him safe, told him to stay calm... manipulated him... suffocated him with her words for years and years before she finally died, leaving him alone... killed everything that made him himself and replaced it with her. Her. Everything always revolves around her. Her. Her. Her. Her. HER.

His heartbeat, deafening in his ears, quickened.  _I can't think like this. She loved me. She did everything for me. I wouldn't have become who I am today if not for her._

_I wouldn't have become who I am today if not for her. _ Tears began to cloud his vision. 

Who would he be if she had never—his mind blanked.  _If she had never what?_

_ Was it really abuse if I had never said no? _

A logical part of him said yes. He wouldn’t blame anyone else for not saying no to a situation like this. Especially someone who had been so young. It was on the older party to protect and care for the younger, to not abuse their power. 

A louder part of him screamed that it was his fault. If he had been better, if he had been smarter, if he had—the list was long and petty. He was different than other people in his own eyes, he was to blame, he was being ungrateful for the love he was given. 

_ “I want to make friends when I get out of the hospital. Real friends.”  _

_ He stared at her in confusion, “What do you mean, sister? Didn’t you say that we only needed each other?”  _

_ She gave an exaggerated sigh, “You know what I mean, Korekiyo. I want friends who are like me, who are girls.” A pause. “You don’t need anyone but me though. Other people wouldn’t understand you like I do.”  _

_ He was silent for a moment, “I’ll try to find friends for you once you’re out of the hospital. I’ll help you however I can.”  _

_ She smiled, brushing a hand through his hair. It was getting longer, he hoped to grow it out to match her. “You’re beautiful to me, nobody else but I can see how truly wonderful you are.”  _

_ He felt his heart swell with the compliment. He was truly loved. He knew that. Even if he wasn’t enough.  _

_I wasn’t enough. _ He stares at his bandaged hands, feeling fear course through his veins.  _Nothing I did was enough. Was I truly as terrible as she insisted? I gave up everything for her._

_Even my own body no longer belongs to me._

He tastes the blood that he had bled for his every mistake in the air. Every scar was a reminder of his failures. 

_ The sound of the air conditioner was deafening in the hospital.  _

_ She wasn’t smiling.  _

_ She was so angry with him for being late, for not being able to catch the first train to the hospital after school, for being so weak.  _

_ “I’m doing this for your own good, Korekiyo.” _

“Stop. Stop. Stop. PLEASE STOP!” He screams alone, his mirror image showing ugly tears streaming down his face, coming from eyes wide with panic. 

His mind jumps to the thought of someone hearing him and coming to his aid. He breathes in ragged, too loud breaths and waits for the sound of pounding at his door. 

1...

2...

3...

4...

_Nobody’s coming._ He feels almost sad at the thought. 

_ The nurses were hardly people to him. They were faces he’d forget as soon as they left the room. They were condolences and assurances (lies) of his sister’s health that day. They were the people who woke him up and ushered him off the chair and out of the room where his sister lay sleeping from the drugs they gave her to cope with it all.  _

_ They were the ones who told him she died when he walked into the building after school one day.  _

_ The sun had been shining and he had brought a book from the library to read to her. He’d found himself a little late that day but hadn’t thought she would mind since he would be bringing her something new.  _

_ But he wouldn’t get to read it to her.  _

_ She had died while he was still in his classes at school. It wouldn’t have even mattered if he hadn’t been late.  _

_ He hadn’t been called, but his parents had and they’d already taken care of everything.  _

_ He gave a silent apology that she had been alone when she had finally passed away. _

Korekiyo calms his breathing to normalcy. He pulls down his mask and uses a washcloth to dab cold water on his face until his eyes look like usual. He pulls his mask back up. 

“I look tired, don’t I?” He smiles sadly under his mask.

He could never be alone as she had been. He couldn’t escape her, even in his own body. He swallowed at that thought, trying to feel joy, or anything but panic. 

He forced himself to leave his room. He had to continue what he started. 

**Author's Note:**

> The Danganronpa writers did Kiyo so dirty


End file.
